Roger Paul

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Food Quotes

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance."
Steven Wright.

"Nouvelle Cuisine, roughly translated, means: I can't believe I paid ninety-six dollars and I'm still hungry."
Mike Kalin.

"Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get."
Robert Orben

"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick, not wounded, dead."
Woody Allen.

"I like children - fried."
WC Fields.

"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."
Steven Wright.

"Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat."
Alex Levine

"I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."
AW Brown

"Health food makes me sick."
Calvin Trillin

"Watermelon -- it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
Enrico Caruso

"I often take exercise. Why only yesterday I had my breakfast in bed."
Oscar Wilde

HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig.

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

"A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch."
James Beard.

"The cook was a good cook as cooks go; and as cooks go, she went."
HH Munro

"Cursed is he who uses peanuts when the recipe calls for almonds."
Christopher Driver

I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
Katherine Cebrian

When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
Andy Rooney

"I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet."
Erma Bombeck

"I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster."
Joe E. Lewis

"You piss me off you Salmon... You're too expensive in restaurants."
Eddie Izzard.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.
Andy Rooney

I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.
George Bush

"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
Calvin Trillin

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry always gets the best of the argument.
Richard Whately

Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.
Jim Davis

"Artichokes ... are just plain annoying ... After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual 'food' out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty or forty postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead."
Miss Piggy

Once, during prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields

It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks.
Pierre August Renoir

Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
Rita Rudner

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
Ambrose Bierce

"This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them."
Gracie Allen

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
Erma Bombeck

McDonalds announced it’s considering a more humane way of slaughtering its animals. You know they fatten them up and then kill them. You know the same thing they do to their customers, isn’t it?
Jay Leno

You can say this for ready-mixes - the next generation isn't going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make.
Earl Wilson

(Author Unknown)

Edited and shared by: The Easy Cajun*                                                                                                                                                                    *Old Cajun Dude

Food Quotes